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It's naughty but you don't actually see much. ^^'' Good Lord but those books nearly killed me. I was tempted to just make it an up against a wall pic...and I'm still not sure it was a good idea to make them different colors....but I still like the pic!

*sighs* This is my one and probably only pic completed for June 2016. I SUCK!

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Soooo..I have been half paying attention to some of the story scenes from my Odin Sphere playthrough. (Yes I am one of the whackjobs who recorded gameplay and more importantly story off of my video game play throughs.) I was coloring, so was only half paying attention....but rememebr how in an earleir post I said I worried about the whole Lezard falling in love with lenneth basically at first sight in OSVP? Okay I always worried it was a wrong move, cause he was tossing away his chance at paradise in the afterlife, to have her on the mortal plane in the fic. I guess I worrid it wsn't believeable, like would anyone fall in love that strongly or desperately...

Well watching odin sphere, I was reminded of some moments I forgot. Including the scene when Oswald spies on Gwendolyn..(the first time he ever saw her.) Basically I interperete his actions (Choosing to spare her on the battlefield right after, the second time he sees her.) that he did fall in love, or at least was wanting her pretty badly, and it was all based on first sight. He didn't even get to talk to her that first time, and she wasn't aware of him the first time either.

So there you go. Made me feel better about something I worried about in my OSVP fic. :) Now if only Lezard and Lenneth weren't being so difficult to write...*shakes fists at them for the umpteenth time*
Another work safe Voltron pic I JUST managed to finsih a few minutes ago. Just barely, as I am super sleepy now...but somehow I managed. Enjoy!

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Worksafe, though she's pretty scantily clad! Not too thriled with the end result. Planning to try to do an alt where her hair is up in the double bun, and shes wearing her pink outfit from the show. Lotor was originally in some Zarkon like robes, but I hated how that looked, and changed his clothing to his canon unifrom. Helps that Allura's hair covered so much of him! XD

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So I was talking to my friend Paige, or rather I should say I just babbled at her in a email..I babbled against your will Paige! :O

Anyway...the thing that started this was, she mentioned she has to reread a certain story of hers, in order to update it, but she is dreading it, cause she is sure it will make her cringe. And I said I have the same problem with my older writings...and that led into a huge babbling ramble about my fics, and what I remember of them, that just remembering makes me cringe at the thought of rereading. Some of this stuff, I would seriously want to rewrite the whole fic from scratch.

This is all babbling, and part of me doesn't feel like rehashing everything I just told Paige...but a lot of my older stories, the writing and or ideas (or both!) make me cringe. I feel like with a lot of my older stories, they start off weak, and then I find my footing. But then there's the flip side. Porcelain Dreams, the first 20 chapters, even though that was all about Zarkon abusing the family, I feel the first 20 chapters were the best part of Porcelain Dreams. Then it starts going downhill bit by bit, and by the fourth arc, the arc where they go to Arus and find Allura's parents, I am cringing like WHOAH! It just sucks, and I am very distastified with this one...and yet I somehow managed to finish it. I also feel like I missed an opportunity where Zarkon not knowing who exactly ALlrua truly is, could have been pursuing her as a potential lover type drama.

Songbird's Lament...how I fear rereading it. Jsut from my memories, I recall being disastified with how I handled stuff with Sabbath early on. The problem is, he AND I were stuck trying to show him as torn between his duty to Lotor,Zarkon, Doom, and his feelings for Romelle. I feel like I really messed up early on, and yet I die a little at the thought of trying to rewrite the story to make it work better. It might be why I am so unenthused about writing the stuff where it's Sven, Romelle, and Sabbath on Pollux and what not...cause I am hung up over stupid mishnadling of things early on. But there's also...when I started the story, I originally for some reason, saw it ending with Romelle and Sabbath meeting again, once Romelle came back as a Doom terrorist. But by the time I got to that point I realized it was unsatisfactory to end right there, and that the story would only be half told. But yet my hangup over stuff I remember as stupid, makes me find it hard to mtoivate to reread and work on the rest of this one.

Duty's End, how I want to update it. It's one I am always amazed people stuck out the first like 18 chapters, cause I feel the first half is a weak story. Then it starts getting it's stride on, and gets MUCH better. Too bad the Keith Mara stuff trips me up so badly to write.

I was going to say i don't have any upsets with OSVP that I can remember, but I just remembered...the one issue I have with the story, is Lezard falling for Lenneth at first sight. I worry that was wrong to do. But I also fear rereading this, and finding I cringe atthis one too, and yet I want to finish it, cause it is my beloved pet project.

Chains of Fate, my first VP story...how I want to rewrite it...it is full of such stupid moments, and now I think people only liked it, cause at the time, it was one of the only, multi chapter Lezard Lenneth stories. I need to rewrite it, and I need to expand on relationships and stuff that was so RUSHED and NONSENSICAL in the original version of the story. Incuding the Brahms and Silemria bits. But I also need to rewrite it, if I am gonna have a chance of working on it's sequel!

But I want to have finished OSVP before I even start on rewriting chains of Fate....

Do not get me started on Lezard's Triumph, and how badly I want and need to rewrite that one too. The RUfus Silmeria side is fine from what I remember, but boy does some of the Lezard Lenneth side..YIKES! Some of the problem is, it was originally meant to be a one shot, and I caved into the pressure to continue it...several times...and each time I caved into pressure to write a new chapter, I HATED that chapter. It made me learn the lesson to not update unless I am ready, motivated, and inspired soley on my own to work on a particular story. Cause every time I give in to pressure to update, I end up hating it...hating what I wrote..and then it ruins the story for me.

The ironic thing is...for all my displeasure with those two stories, I actually got fanarts for them!

I think I keep better, more detailed notes these days. Like I don't remember how I did the notes for Harem Slave, or if I even had any, but I know it got tough to work on by the end, cause I had over 100 chapters to reread...and I couldn't remember everything even with all the rereadings!

Even Once is not immune, because God all mighty, do I want to revamp and rewrite Restraint. If you read it, you can see how I start trying to justify, or explain why they're feelings got developed so fast. But i am so disastisfied by the early chapters, by the pacing issues for the relationship, that it makes it impossible to work on the next chapter....I seriously need to start this story over, but if I do, I think it will end up vastly different, and darker in tone...much darker in tone. *face palms*

It's been so hard to write period. I have gone like three months without writing. i am trying to work on rereadng the Beyond Here Lies Darkness story, so I can hopefully update that one. But it's so hard to motivate period. I have so many ideas, but it's like my brain doesn't want to cooperae to write them out. And it doesn't help I let imagined reactions of would be readers put unneeded pressure on me. The other day Paige and I were talking, something about how all it takes is one reader to say something, and that makes us as writers, imagine that ALL the readers are like that. Readers who don't write stories, don't seem to realize how much time and effort it can take to create a chapter. A quality one. I'm sure I could write some shitty thing that doesn't read anything like my normal style..with none of the details or feelings in it. But it would be a bare bones thing, and I don't think the readers would be very happy with a half assed attempt. I know I wouldn't!

I'm a perfectionist when I am not perfect. At least I am a perfectionist when it comes to writing. it's why my untitled time travel fic with Hook and Belle...the latest chapter, I have like around 100 attempts at an opening SENTENCE. I don't know what is wrong with me and that fic, that I can't find the right sentence to build upon. And I want to update that one soooooooo badly.

There's a LOT of fics I want to update so badly, but life is so stressful, and it doesn't help that stress kicks my OCD into high drive, and then I can't focus to write....I've been ocding like crazy these past three months.....it's even to the point it's affected my art...I am lucky if I finish a drawing, one per week. X_X If even that! (Currently have a Lotor Allura one sitting half colored in my paint program! Well Lotor is all colored, but Allura still has a lot of coloring that needs to be done to her.)

I know this is like a bitch fest...but it's something I needed to get off my chest. And for the record, I have tried rereading a few Voltron fics (Cost of regret and diplomatic relations) and while not too bad on the cringe worthy scale, I remained unable to write the next chapter. Sometimes I think I need to sit down and reread ALL my fics for the fandom, in order to get into that frame of mind. I honesty don't know. But there's also the feedback thing and how the Hook Belle people in particular, practically write me love songs with their wonderful reviews. By the time I was posting my latest Voltron fic to fafic net, Diplomatic Relations ad exactly 19 reviews, most of them from the same person. It was very disheartening to get hardly any feedback. I felt taken for granted..I still do. Part of me feels like people stopped commenting on my Voltron stuff, cause they assumed I would always be around. I work my heart and soul into these, work my fingers to the bone, and the least people could do is review. The silent fave and follows torture me, cause it's like okay you like it enough to fave and or follow, tell me WHY! Tell me something. And don't make the review be nothing but a "Hurry up and update!"
Finally finished....but I am all moody morose about how long it is taking me to color pics this year. Still only averging maybe one completed pic a week. X_X

Anyway! Real happy with this one, especially Lezard's hair. XD

Naughty one...some bondage too!

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2016 continues to be a bust when it comes to completed artworks...X_X But I did finally manage to finish this one. *dies* the dress ruffles was killer to color and shade. Glad to finally have it finished. Not safe for work, though you don't actually get to see the naughty bits!

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Hooked On You Site Updated

Just finished updated my Once Upon A Time website. Hooked on You is now up to date as of this moment....Beyond Here Lies Darkness, The Broken Hearted Comfort, and The Dark Flavor Of Addiction make up the bulk of this update. :)

Now to try to get started on chapter sixteen of the Beyond Darkness fic!
Whooo! new chapter already! Maybe I have entered into being on a roll! :)

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So yeah, about 30 minutes after posting it to the fanfic site, it hit me that i forgot to post it to my own journal. Oopsie. Better late than never! And yes I am as shocked as anyone else that this one got updated....but I got in a mood for it, so yay!

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